Have Standards & Stick To Them
As I get older it isn’t necessarily that my standards are “higher” it’s more so that I KNOW my standards and I won’t accept anything less than that. Wow, while typing that I felt like a powerhouse. A year ago I wouldn’t be able to type that sentence and show the world that I said that. Like wow Meg that’s pretty bold of you to say that, that might scare off someone. GOOD. That will take the people not right for you out of the dating pool fast. You SHOULD know what you are expecting of someone and what you want out of a relationship. What you SHOULD want and be comfortable enough to do with someone is communicate what you are needing from them and vise versa to make it work. You’re going to respect yourself more. There will be clear communication as to what you are wanting and it ensures that your time won’t be wasted.
Right now say “I am an amazing person, I deserve great things.” I mean it, do it. If you believe those words that’s fantastic, because you are and do deserve to be in a healthy, loving relationship. Having confidence isn’t selfish, it’s loving yourself for you and looking out for yourself. You want to be treated like you’re a priority not an option. When that confidence seems to be overflowing there may be a time where you need to check yourself tho ;)
When I say keep hold of your standards I’m not telling you to filter out every brunette because you prefer blondes or you only want a person with green eyes...I’m talking about qualities and reasonable expectations from a person. You may miss out on a wonderful person because of physical attributes. It’s okay to hold standards like you want your partner to communicate daily or that you want to see effort being put into your relationship. Relationships aren’t all fun and easy-going, you will argue and disagree because we are human. Having standards makes the other person WANT to be better and grow as a person to ensure they are being their best self for you and vise versa. That person will push themselves and it will benefit not only the relationship but themselves as well.
So, picture your favorite dessert. Are you catching on to my huge sweet tooth? Okay. Picture that dessert. Right now it’s October so I’m picturing a lovely pumpkin bar with cream cheese frosting (I can’t have dairy so this is risky to think about). I’m going to buy it at my favorite bakery. When I arrive the sign on the door says “sorry we are closed.” Bummer. Well, that’s okay there are other bakeries open that sell pumpkin bars. I go to the closest bakery. They don’t have pumpkin bars, I’m losing patience so I’m going to settle for the brownie with sprinkles. Tasty, but not what I wanted. I got it though because I wanted to fill the void of the absent pumpkin bar.
Pumpkin Bars Are My Fall Weakness
….just look at that frosting…
Now this may not seem like such a tragedy and that life happens and alternatives aren’t always bad.. Yes, I agree. In this instance though, I filled something quickly and looked past what I really wanted for something to fill that void. When I felt like that first bakery couldn’t give me what I wanted, I looked elsewhere and settled for something that I wasn’t wanting. Just to say that I had dessert today.
What I am getting at is that if you know what you want, go for it. If you lower what you expected, you increase your risk of being disappointed. This is your happiness and well-being we are talking about, be nice to yourself. It doesn’t mean they aren’t a good person, they just might not be YOUR person. Why hold them back on finding a better match too?