Discover The Value You Already Possess
Look For Internal Value
My thoughts were running wild last night, to the point where I needed to catch them and write them down. Or if you were me in that moment, I kept repeating them and composing a speech in my own bedroom like I was performing for a crowd. Did I just say that? Oh well. Excuse my ramblin’ I will get to the point of this paper.
What I kept thinking about was that we feel like we are most valuable when we seek validation from others. Our mind tricks us that we are more “valuable” if we are in a relationship, if he/she texts me back quickly, if I get a raise from a job, if I am picked first out of the dodgeball lineup, etc. Yes, those things can make us feel good about ourselves, but what can be detrimental is relying on those things to make us feel valuable. What if you get cheated on in that relationship? What if he/she doesn’t text you back? What if you only stay at the same pay grade at your job? What if you were picked 10th out of the dodgeball line-up? Did you rely on those things as part of your identity? What happens when those things are taken away? Who are you? What are you without that relationship, job, teammate? These are all external factors that can contribute to a more self confident, temporary valuable feeling but in reality these things do nothing for how you feel about yourself and the way you genuinely value and weigh your worth.
“If you have real, internal value, you don’t need a loud, expensive imitation”
You Were Born With Your Value & Worth
What if I told you that the day you were created or if it is easier to think about, the day you took your first breath that we were all given our value and worth? Meaning that it doesn’t grow or that one day we become more worthy or become more of value, that started day ONE. With the society we live in, it is easy for us to become molded to who we should be, what we shouldn’t do, listen up & don’t speak your mind, lose that creativity, I could go on and on… we lose our value because of EXTERNAL factors. Things we are told we are or aren’t from social media, loved ones, leaders, followers, on and on. The hard part is not falling into those external forces. It’s literally a force because “they” try so hard to change our value or feed our mind into what we should feel/think/listen to/think about. We lose value and self worth because we feel like we can’t be ourselves, and you know what? I say fight back.
It’s not that we are finding our value and worth, we are discovering it and how to use it. You were already born with it. Discover HOW you want to value yourself, how you want to use your worth and if you even want to hold yourself to that standard. Everything that is “valuable” requires maintenance right? Like that diamond ring, it’s very valuable to you in different ways and the maintenance of cleaning it to make it looking shiny all of the time requires some work. You are like that diamond ring, it will always be that diamond ring but it can become dull or hold less value if the upkeep is neglected. That wasn’t me telling you to keep up your hygiene (my god please do) but take care of yourself and keep growing.
If You Don’t Use It, You’ll Lose It
Even though I said that you were born with it, that doesn’t mean that you should just be content with what you are given. Like anything, it can grow and mature. Like anything, if you don’t use it you’ll lose it. You’ll lose it in a way where you think that it is non-existent. In this sense, it just got lost in yourself.
Do things that help you realize how truly valuable and worthy you are. These could be things like; going for a walk with a friend, self-gratitude walks and talks, doing what makes YOU feel fulfilled with passion, surrounding yourself with people who are growing and supporting you, excluding yourself from those people who are negative and hurt your growth, pet a dog or just be kind.
Practice, Grow, Practice, Grow
Discover that value within yourself. Rely on those permanent, more valuable things that no one can take away from you. For example, no one can take away that I am a caring and kind person within my core. Yes, I can stray away from that and it can get “lost” but what I can do is follow with my principles instead of feelings. One of my principles in life is “Treat others with kindness.” Like habits, you have to practice your principles. You have to grow those values.
At the end of your life, you aren’t going to reflect on how well you did at your job or that you made it to state during your high school years. What you will be reflecting on is how YOU feel about people in your life, how you treated them and the internal values you hold onto. If you value kindness, you are going to most likely reflect if you stayed true to that. If you value honesty, you’re going to reflect on if you stayed true to that and if you were honest with yourself and the decisions you made. Stop seeking validation from others and correlating that with how valuable you are. At the end of the day, you are the only one in control of your thoughts. You are the one building this life for you.
I believe in you. You are worthy. You are valuable. Now, believe it and practice it.
