Find Your Complement
yellow there sugar
I’ve been wanting to write about this topic for awhile and well, here I go. It’s time to shine.
When I say find your complement, I am talking in terms of finding someone who adds to the already amazing person you are and have worked to be. Find that someone who motivates you to do the things you love and is cheering alongside you whenever you ace that test or finish that mile. Find that someone who hears you & never doubts what you’re truly capable of. Find that someone who is willing to appreciate your passions, they don’t have to embrace them as their own but part of respecting you is to treat your likes with kindness. A relationship of any sorts isn’t and shouldn’t be one sided, in any realm.
Think of 5 things right now that you want in a person. Write those 5 things down on a sticky note. Now hang it up on your wall, fridge, flipping coffee pot, wherever! Somewhere that you will see everyday and remind yourself of what you value most. Manifest that shit and the magical realm of law of attraction will blow your mind y’all.
My five things
Kind to me & strangers
Can make me giggle
Makes me feel safe to be me (allows me to be my 110% self & loves me for every part of what I am, even the not so glamorous parts)
Loves the outdoors & adventures. Lives for saying “yes”
Acknowledges the past, loves me for my present and is excited for our future
My five things become more solidified the more experiences, dates and relationships I’ve been through. You learn what you want most in YOUR person. Now, this isn’t build-a-bear where EVERYTHING needs to come together but a small “check-list” of what you need in a person is more than okay.
Kind to me & strangers: the best gift we can give to others is treating them with pure, genuine kindness. No matter what they look like, talk like, are/aren’t wearing, can/can’t do, etc. I learned quickly by dating that I think kindness is f*cking attractive. Oooo baby you make that waiter/waitress feel on top of the world when you’re with me, ask my roommate how her game was, wave at those innocent babies. What I’ve learned is that you can be the fittest, most god-like looking person but that means NOTHING when your heart is filled with ego and superiority.
Can make me giggle: be the goofiest goober. I laugh at mostly anything & everything- so I’m not asking for much, right? Haha. I value laughter so much as it’s an instant mood booster and easer of stress. Life is better with smile wrinkles :)
Makes me feel safe to be me: This isn’t saying that I need a strong man to protect me physically, like c’mon I can bench press the bar ;) I’m saying that I want to feel protected (and vise versa) with my person that I’m not afraid to be my upmost vulnerable, truest self. I want to feel protected when I am about to make a big decision. I want to feel protected when I soberly break into dance and I don’t get looks of shame or that that wasn’t the “cool” thing to do. I want to feel protected in which I know I made a mistake (we all do) and my person will not be in denial of my mistakes but helps me move past them and become a better person.
Loves the outdoors & adventures: I realized that it’s okay to look for someone who values the great outdoors just as much as me. I am an adrenaline junkie who says “yes” to every decision involving a new experience. My anxieties and constant running mind feel more at ease and grounded when I’m in the presence of nature.
Acknowledges the past, loves me for my present and is excited for our future: We’ve all got a past that comes with stories, they made us who we are but we are not those experiences. We are what we chose to become because of them. Your identity is not a medical diagnoses or victim of assault. You are not permanently abandoned because of an absent parent. Find that person who acknowledges what your obstacles have been and admires the imperfections. Don’t try to numb away someone’s past, let them talk when they are ready and whenever they want. Love them for their presence today. Create a foundation for a sturdy future <3
You aren’t “completed” when you find that person. Instead, find that person who makes the mornings a little easier. Find that person who makes your coffee taste a little better. Find that person who makes the sun feel a little brighter. Find that someone who makes you laugh a little more louder. This doesn’t even have to be restricted in a relationship way, find those people who complement you in the best way. A complement is something that enriches or enhances something- the bacon tastes much better just being on the same plate as those eggs :)
I mean, am I wrong??
If you feel it in your heart that the person you’re with isn’t enhancing or enriches you- they aren’t the one. Let them go so they can find that enrichment so you can find yours. Let the friends go who aren’t aiding in your goals, mental health and self-discovery. Let the family go that are unsupportive, detrimental to your well-being and can’t love you for who you are. Let them go and find things/people who make your life better. Find the milk to your cookies kind of people, the peanut butter to your bread, the law and order to your coffee :) (maybe that last one is just me)
Complement Your Yellow