Be true to you
Why would we ever live a life that satisfies anyone other than ourselves?
Hello there you gorgeous, wonderful human.
How were you the truest you today? It’s a simple reflection
I can tell you how I was —> I got an iced caramel macchiato w/oat milk to give me confidence to ask my boss if she wanted to go hiking this weekend. I think she’s super genuine and I let my nerves go about it being “weird” because I’ve been wanting to ask her for so long! We are now making plans to go soon :)
As I learn to love and learn my 23 year old body and mind (whoops I’m 24 in 3 months) I finally discovered the true power of voice. Podcasts. The incredible world of hearing other people’s experiences, dreams and opinions gives me much more joy now than reading from fictional magazines and social media posts. Although, I do love me some “how will your knight and shining armor waltz in and sweep you away” quizzes that I mystically give more credit towards. It’s fun to dream :) While listening to a podcast last week …..the Dear Life podcast w/ Terri Cole: How To Be A Boundary Boss episode…to be exact, I heard something that sprung an instant “wow, what the h-e- double-hockey-stick have I been doing?” It was, “why do we live a life for the satisfaction that we are reassuring others?” Shit. Okay, I know that we are human and yes, it is nice to know when we are doing good at work from our boss or that we are looking hot diggity dogging great in our new outfit but…. but how do YOU feel?
Why do we say things, do things, shy away from things for the sole reason that it would make others more comfortable/satisfy them? We get one wild ride on this thing called life and we all are worth being remembered for who we are. Think about someone who has passed, what do you remember about them? I remember my classmate Logan for the time that we were elected ‘class clown’ of our graduating class. We painted our faces as clowns for the picture for the yearbook and we kept it on for a good chunk of time. He made me feel comfortable yet so silly doing that but I still laugh about it when I look back on the yearbook or when I talk to his brother Mitch. He would do anything to make someone laugh, even when he was suffering behind closed doors. I think about my grandpa, he was known as the pumpkin patch guy who sold produce from his basement. I can remember growing up and helping him on the farm, wishing that maybe we could go on a trip together, simply leave the county line borders but that’s not who he was. He was the man who could bring in a crowd wherever he was because he always had a story that would result in everyone in gasps “did he really just say that???” and then telling him to stop because your belly really might explode from laughing so much. One time I kept track of how many times he swore on the way from the green shed where the ponies were to his house in town, a 15 minute ride tops, and I lost track when it got to 60. He was his true, non-filtered farmer. And I will forever hold him in my heart as that.
Why are you wearing what’s “in”? Is it because TikTok told you and you want to fit in or do you genuinely love the style? Do you actually like that song or did someone tell you that jazz music is boring so you force yourself to listen to Ariana Grande (no hate Ari)? Do you find hope in reading your astrology and birth date meaning but hide that passion because someone told you it was stupid? Are you swiping through tinder because you feel like others judge your singleness but you really just want to be single? These are all just things to get you thinking and while you’re thinking… are you surrounding yourself with people who allow and accept you for who you are?
How are you going to be remembered?
Start with doing one thing a day where it benefits your soul and true being. Do it confidently. Backlash happens due to insecurities and judgement from others who are too scared to be themselves. You will blossom in your body.
I would just like to add that if the things that you decide to do or say harm yourself or others… please rethink that :)
Things that make me, me that I’m proud to say :)
I strongly dislike skiing
I am very bad at texting- it takes me hours/days because I would much rather get to know someone through experiences BUT I know that that isn’t the case at hand always. I am working on it :)
I wear a yellow backpack instead of a purse and I think I always will
I don’t find pleasure in getting my nail’s done-- maybe the reason why it’s been 4 years :)
I love talking about Buddhism but I don’t practice Buddhism. I love thinking my thoughts out loud with someone who allows me to
I hate feeling like someone will never let me talk in a relationship, no matter how bad I am at story-telling
I have never watched the show Friends and have no desire to
I honestly don’t know if I ever want kids & I’m okay with that. Even though some people in my town think that’s ludicrous when I share :) I am more than a reproducer damn it!!
I love, love, love when someone laughs/smiles because of something I did or said. It’s not because I need reassurance, I love that me being my weird, goofy self brings joy
I start a lot of things I get excited about but pile my plate because I think I’m never doing enough to the point where it gets too heavy. Then all of my desires and projects get stalled. Aka writing & working this blog.
Take care, love.
Find Your True Yellow <3