Drop “I’m Sorry” From Your Vocabulary.
There is an appropriate time and place for using “I’m Sorry” obviously. Please be sorry if you ran over the neighbors lizard or bumped into someone while rushing to work that then caused their $6 coffee to be spilled all over them. What I am saying is that you should drop saying sorry if you have no reason to be. If you’re saying sorry to sugar coat a situation where you are in the wrong and are just using it to get the conversation over with, then it will make the situation worse in the long run. WHY are you sorry? Use this moment you are given to state what you did wrong and HOW you are going to fix it and move on. Moving on means take what you said you are going to do to fix the problem you caused, apply it and don’t dwell on it. It will make you and the person(s) involved much more trustworthy of you and putting promised words to action.
Another thing is if you are saying sorry when you are NOT in the wrong then that should also be dropped. This is something I do and see way too often. Why are we apologizing for the wrongdoings of others? Why is it so much easier to hold the blame for others and to be okay with it? The moment you take blame for others is the moment you are letting yourself down. They will subconsciously or even knowingly take advantage of your kindness and unwillingness to stand up for yourself and know that you won’t call them out for what they are too cowardly to accept for themselves.
Why Are You Sorry?
When you feel like you are beginning to take the blame, ask yourself WHY am I sorry? Why am I sorry that they told me an obvious lie but covered it up by putting the blame on you for being too nosy? Or too controlling? That is not healthy behavior and a big, fat red flag and sign that you need to hightail it out of there. Why are you sorry for texting them too much? When in reality you only had texted them saying good morning and to have a great day, you have NO reason to take that blame. You were just showing that you cared and putting in the effort that they are neglecting to give you.
If you reflect on why you are sorry and there is an obvious reason to be sorry then be sorry. The sorry would mean more if you stated why you are sorry, what you are going to do to be better and then take action with your proposed plan. I was a huge “I’m sorry” girl and still am working on it today. I was actually pulled aside while waitressing by a couple I was waiting on because they wanted to tell me that people are going to take advantage of how much I apologize for my behavior when my behavior was nothing to be sorry about. They told me I was doing a great job and one of the best waitresses they had. So why was I sorry? I say sorry to my friends when I feel like I’m talking too much about my thoughts, they get almost irritated with me because they continuously tell me that I don’t talk about my problems enough and that when I do they are grateful I do and have absolutely no reason to apologize. I am not a burden and if your friends act like you are a burden when you are opening up to them, say adios.
Find people in your life who WANT to listen to you. Find people in your life where they acknowledge their mistakes and WANT to change for themselves and you. Find people in your life who don’t turn their mistakes back onto you and WANT to genuinely apologize for not making the best choice.
So, cheers to a life where there’s a little less sorry and a lot more acceptance.