Thank you for choosing to stay here

Thank you. Thank you for making it to today. Thank you for not raising your white flag after those tough days. Now, you may be feeling uncomfortable about my thank you’s, that you have nothing to be thanked for. Oh my oh my are you wrong. You don’t need a medal or a plaque on the wall to show your significance to this World or others around you. You deserve this thanks because I’m so proud of you for waking up today and not give in to those tucked away thoughts that you choose to keep to yourself. I’m proud of you for trying, no matter how many times things don’t seem to be going your way. I’m so proud of you for keeping your head afloat, no matter how many times the current keeps trying to suck you in. Paddle harder on those days when your limbs feel too numb to even want to tread.

Stay afloat

This world can be tough, honestly it can be so so cruel. That doesn’t mean you should let it win. There was a point in my life when all I wanted was to let the World win, take the “easy” route. There’s nothing easy about that route though. That route would’ve led to heartache and a life-long pain for my family, friends, classmates, teachers, coaches and so many others that I don’t know who I had impacted or touched at the time of my 17 years of life. That’s what I didn’t see or I should say that I couldn’t see at that point. I felt like a burden. I felt guilty for having these feelings of not wanting to stay on this Earth because you hear of people having it so much worse. The well-known, athletic, blonde haired-blue eyed girl isn’t allowed to wish her life away. She HAS IT ALL. In movies and tv shows they paint the scene where the kid who eats alone and wears black to be the one allowed to have these feelings, those are the kids who you should question. You know what though? In real life the people who we have to “watch out for” are usually the kids who have the most self awareness. I want to be clear now, I am not saying to disregard people who fall into this category, what I’m trying to say is that BE KIND TO EVERYONE AND ALLOW PEOPLE TO FEEL WHAT THEY ARE FEELING. Do not disregard feelings because of what you perceive them as. For heaven sake we perceived Robin Williams to be the Uncle we all wanted to have, the guy who kept the whole room laughing and had a smile who could change anyone’s day around. No one thought to have checked in on him to see if he was ever alright because he showed the world a side of him where he didn’t want to be questioned.

The pressure we put on ourselves and others is detrimental. Take a step back and think… do I ever give myself congratulations on the things I HAVE accomplished? When you’re given a compliment do you brush it off with a “thanks, but” or “….. is more pretty, more successful, more fit.” Take the compliment. It was an observation from someone who noticed you were doing great. OR do you ever catch yourself talking negatively about someone and putting expectations on them when they don’t even have those expectations for themselves? Holy cow think about that. This could look something like… Thinking Joe* who is 24 years old and lives with his parents should really think about finding a good girl to settle down with. In reality Joe doesn’t have his sights set on pursing a relationship but his dream is to go back to school to obtain his Masters. It’s not okay for us to playwright someone’s life for them, no matter how hard we want to be a director. It may seem like I’m getting away from the title of this article but I wanted to mention this because these expectations we have from others can be such a negative pressure on someone’s mental health.

This toast is for you

If you’re struggling to fight for yourself right now find someone or something to use in your place instead. Fight for one more day to chase your nephew around the yard. Fight to see your dad’s eyes tear up when he walks you down the aisle. Fight to hug your sister after she worked so hard to graduate college. Fight for the day when you can tell your mom you found the girl of your dreams. There may be days where you can’t find those reasons to stay for yourself, instead find ways to stay here for someone else. My goal for you is to find those reasons to stay for you. I want you to find joy within yourself and want to show the world what you have to offer. For right now I am okay with external reasons, as long as you stay fighting. One day I hope you fall in love with the way you make people feel about themselves and how you are able to turn someone’s day around with your laugh.

If you need help coming up with reasons to stay, let’s make a list. Let’s get coffee. Let’s go take a walk in the park. Whatever you need I’m here to help you see how special you are.

You matter.

Let’s Find Your Yellow <3