Forensic Psychology: Private Investigator

Honestly, one of the coolest titles I could say that I have had.

As some of you know, I got my MS in Forensic Psychology at Arizona State University. During the last few months before graduating I started part-time as a PI for a woman ran investigation office in the heart of Phoenix and eventually full-time when I graduated. All of the cases I worked on were for the defense. These were not misdemeanors but those who were accused of horrific crimes such as murders, rapes, assaults, burglaries, etc.

Let me back peddle here, never in a million years would I think that I would be working for the defense. Any one who knows me and what I stand for (probably can pick that up from my previous blogs) knows that I stand for those who have been survivors of trauma. I was an advocate for sexual assault survivors for years. This opportunity came up and rather then declining, I took a couple of days to ask myself if this is what I really wanted. Did I want to experience this side of the criminal justice system? It wasn’t a job that I could just do, I would be putting myself alone in rooms with those who very well were guilty of crimes you would only hear about from Netflix documentaries. I eventually came to the conclusion that I would take the job because I not only wanted to grow in my career with the forensic population but grow as a person whose tunneled perception of others would be broadened.

What I didn’t think that I would get from this side was my view of mental health and the criminal justice system.

My favorite section of the jail I would go to would be the SMU unit. This stood for special management unit, this would be for those who were put up for there for bad behavior and/or couldn’t function in the general population due to mental illness or behavioral issues. The jail that I experienced the SMU unit was called 4th Ave Jail. When wanting to go to the SMU unit I would have to be escorted to the 4th floor by two guards who I became quick friends with. We were given access by three heavy metal doors that would only be opened from those operating the security cameras. One of the doors was the one holding my client from seeing other humans. When opened, they were able to see their visitor through their windows. This is where I would check in with them and show evidence if needed. What I witnessed were those who were evil and those who could have been saved if given the chance. Their life could have been different if given proper treatment for their mental illness early on in life, if they were recognized as having a mental illness, if they grew up in an environment where every day they felt like they had to survive which involved violence, if others could have seen them for being human and not what they looked like or believed in.

I was never going to talk about the gruesomeness of the cases, I am not going to romanticize like other sources do. Not to talk down on others who deep dive into the Netflix specials of certain serial killers because I am one of those who would happily take a Saturday night in to do so. What I wanted to talk about was hope and compassion towards others.

I am not going to be oblivious, what certain clients of mine had done was truly unspeakable and it was hard to defend them when remorse was not a thought that they would maybe even have one day. Where mental illness and other mitigating factors did not favor into why they had decided to do such thing. I just wanted to make that clear, as this is a controversial topic in our society.

What I saw in some of my clients, one particularly who was a juvenile, was hope for a better future for themselves. Despite all of the negative factors that were set in stone for them, even before they were born and present, being incarcerated was a turning point in their life. I saw clients graduate high school, earn credits towards college and take self-improvement classes not because they were required to but because they truly wanted something out of it. I learned so much from my clients about my own subconscious biases and what it actually means to be human. We tend to identify others on their worst possible moment, their rock bottom. Even if they do a 360 from that bottom, the lingering thoughts from others will stick with that person no matter what they do. We generalize others just because we had a bad experience with someone that looks like them, shares the same beliefs or passions as them. You may not even know you are doing this.

I am on this journey of switching my perception of the world, it’s hard. I catch myself falling back into those old habits but I am trying. I am not perfect. I will never claim to be. I am learning and open to educating myself from others. There are things that I will never experience but that does not mean I don’t want to be aware of it and brush it to the side.

I challenge you to change your perspective on a passion or idea that you hold so passionately about. You may very well stick with that same idea but you are aware of the other sides to that cause or whatever that idea may be.

I have many stories from this job, don’t be afraid to ask me anything. Try new opportunities when given the chance. This opportunity opened my eyes to what I want to do and I have found that in my new state of Wisconsin that I moved to. I work with the forensic population and am their mental health case manager.

That is for another story for another day :)

Find Your New Lesson To Learn <3