It’s About Damn Time.

Here I am, with Moose in my lap and Honey on my feet in bed, anxiously worrying about tomorrow. So, I’ve decided to do what I do best in these situations and decide to share a little piece of my world to others.

Tomorrow morning I’ll be arriving at St. Luke’s to do a laparoscopy for endometriosis with chromopertubation. That’s a lot of big words so what that basically means is that I’ll be going under for a surgery to “scrape and burn all of the endometriosis that they can find inside my body.” The long C word is flushing my tubes out to ensure there’s no blockages. I’ve talked about endometriosis occasionally but it’s a hard disease to understand. Although many girls and women knowingly and unknowingly have it, there’s not a lot of studies, treatments or even solutions to it. So, the birth control band aid is usually what happens for years. In a nut shell, endometriosis is when tissue starts developing inside of the woman’s body and “implants” itself on the ovaries, Fallopian tubes, and many other places. With that being said, it is a very painful, tiring and emotional disease.

So, I’ll go back. I’ve had this surgery planned before as I was told it would be very difficult for me to conceive naturally. It was when we moved to Wisconsin from Phoenix. The literal day we moved to Wisconsin I was on the phone with a surgeon from New York to get it planned. As we all know, life happened. I truly believe Jesse’s brother sent us Aspen before he passed. Not to sound like a broken record but my OB/GYN in Wisconsin was astounded that I came back with a positive pregnancy test as a literal month earlier we were talking about ways to preserve my eggs/other ways to help me get pregnant in the future. So, the surgery was cancelled, I had a beautiful pregnancy without ANY endometriosis pain, had our wild, beautiful boy and was relatively pain free until about 7 months after Aspen was born. Then WHAM BAM HAM it came back ferocious.

I don’t share this a lot but we have been trying for another little one since Aspen has been about 8-9 months old. Yes, maybe that was “early” but we have our reasons as for trying so fast. One, I wasn’t in a lot of pain and had been warned that it would come back even worse. Two, we want our loved ones who are getting older the chance to meet our kids. Three, I would love nothing more than to have my kids grow up close-ish in age and home school when they are young together. Anyways, there’s a lot more reasons but ain’t nobody got time to listen to me this much.

So, we’ve been trying for a year. Not to be TMI but “sexy time” is the last thing I want to do when I can’t even get up. The pain gets worse each month and my OB/GYN and I both decided surgery is my best option at the moment. I’ve been trying so many things to avoid surgery; holistically, diet, supplements, etc. It will give me the best chance to start “fresh” and improve my fertility odds a ton.

I told Jesse I was writing tonight and that I was going to keep this to myself but he told me not to. You never know who may be thinking about this surgery, just getting a diagnosis of endometriosis and/or feeling alone in this. To the few I’ve told about this, thank you for listening to me, always. To the few who I’ve told and shared their story of their surgery with this, thank you. To my family and friends who have supported me and will support myself, Jesse and Aspen while I’m recovering in the next few weeks, thank you.

Who knows, maybe the surgery doesn’t work and Aspen is our miracle baby. All I can show him is that I tried and that I will keep on trying.

Thank you for reading.

Here’s to potentially more future little Jensens